My mother always told me, “Give me my flowers now.  Don’t wait until I’m dead and gone.”  All too often, we do not take the time to tell those who mean the most to us exactly how much they mean to us.  The key word in the previous sentence is “time.”  Tomorrow is not guaranteed. 

Written By Cornell Dews

In his song titled Big Brother, Kanye rapped, “if you admire someone you should go ahead and tell em, people never get the flowers when they can still smell them.”  Immediately after listening to that verse, I envisioned a scene from a funeral.  The cinematic scene I envisioned was that of a closed casket sitting in the front of a church full of sobbing loved ones, surrounded by bouquets of the most beautiful flowers money can afford.  Like many things, visually it looks great, but I’m left wondering, “Was that individual afforded the same type of love, affection and admiration when he was living?”  Wouldn’t it be great to hand your love one a rose, accompanied with the words “I love you” or “Thank you” while they’re alive as opposed to taking a photograph of them surrounded by roses as they lie dormant in a closed casket?  Wouldn’t it be nice to tell someone that they’re the greatest and give them their deserved accolades while they’re living so they can truly appreciate the rewards for their time invested in pleasing you?  How about we create lasting memories for the people we love while they’re living instead of wearing an “In Memory Of” tee shirt for them after they die?

The hip hop community has lost its share of “great” ones.  The sad part is most weren’t anointed “great” or given their proper respect until their demise; though in many cases, it was obvious that they were special.  Biggie said, “you’re nobody until somebody kills you.”  Jay once wondered aloud, “we’ll see what happens when I no longer exist.”  I never knew how prominent of an artist J-Dilla was until after his death when everyone started publicly speaking on his greatness and contributions to the culture.  I’m certain that his family appreciated the love other artists, his friends and fans displayed for him after his passing, but can you imagine how those exact same actions and words would have affected him if he would have received them while he was living?

We need to take the time to say “I Love You” to our loved ones.  We need to take the time to say “Thank You” to those we are thankful for.  We need to take the time to “tip our hats” to those deserving individuals.  We need to take the time to show individuals that we care for them and appreciate the things they do for us.  We need to take the time to do all of these things plus more, before the time (opportunity) is taken away from us.

And with all of that being said, I’d like to publicly say “Thank You” to my mother for everything that you’ve done for me and all that you’re willing to do for me.  I’d like to thank my father for never leaving.  I’d like to publicly say “Thank You” to my wife for giving me the greatest joy in my life, my daughter Imani.  I’d like to tell my stepdaughter that I never attempted to replace your father, instead I just attempted to love you.  I think that you’ve grown into a beautiful young lady Kiara and I want you to know that I love you very much.  To all of my aunts, uncles and cousins, you need to know that I love you.   To all of my friends, male and female who have played intricate roles in my life by supporting and encouraging me, I’d like to say, “Thank you” sincerely.  To my elders in my neighborhood who contributed to my growth and development as a young man, “Thank you.”  To my teachers and professors who taught me, “Thank you.”  And To everyone that reads my columns on www.realtalkny.net, I thank you and appreciate you for taking the time to read my shared thoughts.

It’s the holiday season, a joyous time.  But for some, this is the most difficult time of the year because they’re missing their loved ones with whom they would normally spend the holidays with.  And maybe they didn’t get a chance to say, “thank you” or “I love you.”  Maybe they didn’t get a chance to give their loved one their flowers.  And now they can’t.  We all know that death is inevitable and at times unsuspecting, but we don’t always act as if we know that’s true.  Again, tomorrow isn’t promised to us. 

Now of course, you can’t change the events that occurred yesterday; however, today does belong to you.  Metaphorically speaking, “When was the last time you gave your loved ones their flowers?”

Thank you Nigel D.  And that’s real talk!

Rest in Peace Pimp C!

Written By Cornell Dews 

This entry was posted on Monday, December 17th, 2007 at 11:59 am and is filed under News.